Nearly all of us use some type instant messaging, and it's safe to say that most of us are probably pretty obsessed with AIM and everything it stands for. From away messages, to online wars, to stalking that cutie in your Advanced Acting class, instant messaging has become a way of life for the average college kid. With over a million hours of online experience, I've become well versed in this little code language we have created. Speaking as a female, let me give you guys a little warning: what you read may not always be what we mean. Away messaging has opened up a whole new field for us to test your intuitive skills. Look out.
There are some away messages that we've all seen (and that have become a little too familiar for our own good). For example, take the classic break-up progression. It starts with the confused face, or maybe the "I don’t know what to say anymore." This often leads to the depressed "post break up" away messages (i.e. "Sleeping... I hope I never wake up..."), followed by the bitterly pissed-off ones (check out Fiona Apple or Alkaline Trio lyrics and see if any look familiar). Obscure Emo lyrics (you may not listen to Dashboard Confessional, but you probably know half their lyrics by heart) are quick to follow the pissed-off messages. All of these can only be followed up the next day by promises to love Joe Schmoe, the fifteen-time heartbreaker, forever and ever from the date in the profile that is surrounded by asterisk marks.
But those are the away messages that need no explaining. That brand is just for pure procrastinating sport.
What about the RoyalCutie3982349's away message that is usually "At class! Have a great day :)" but today ends in the dreaded ellipse? For those non-English majors out there, the "ellipse" is that little "...." The ellipse usually means that she's upset about something. If RoyalCutie3982349 has a significant other, it's probably them, or going to be blamed on them. Advice for RoyalCutie3982349's sig. other: go find some lovey-dovey lyrics and put them in your away message, pronto.
What about the girl who lists her full schedule for the day, including every time and place? This could mean one of two things—if not more. I'm a girl and I still don't fully understand the way we work.
- She wants you to know she is important.
- She wants you to stalk her as avidly as she has been stalking you.
Yes, it's true. If we like someone, we stalk him. So if we like you, it's only natural that we want you to stalk us too. I think that we sometimes tell everyone in AIM land that we'll be eating lunch in the third floor cafe at 12 noon so that it sparks something in the head of our beloved that says, "ooh! If she's eating at noon in the third floor then I should do that too! And sit down with her and talk with her and ask her out Friday night and be nice to her for as long as she wants to be with me!" I didn't say our away message scheming works.
Who doesn't love unexplained lyrics? Very rarely do we girls hear something and think "this has nothing to do with how I feel at the moment but I'll type these couple of lines out anyway just for their poetic worth." Nope. Not that easy. Lyrics have some significant meaning behind them 99.9% of the time, even if that meaning is undisclosed to you. If you've been hooking up with RoyalCutie3982349 and she posts lyrics that are upset, angry, or about a lack of commitment, sorry, buddy. They are most likely aimed right at you.
Happy lyrics tend to be posted right after the happy moments occur. After a great date, a liberating night with the girls or a stellar day academically we sometimes go on a high that we want everyone we know to recognize. Look for a lyric like Incubus' "And in this moment I am happy" or the toothy smiley face to signify these days. These are somewhat straightforward but sometimes I think women are genetically wired to mean more than what we actually say. So again, look out.
Girls may seem confusing and I'm sure we are, but we are always trying to communicate. (Whether we are or not is a completely different story.) Just be aware that what you hear/read may not always be the case and as confusing as we are, it's just because there's some depth there that just needs to be delved into once in awhile. Away messaging gives us a new way to express ourselves to mass amounts of people and to seek out mass understanding. Those little yellow notepads are used as important announcement, badges of honor or even cries for help.
And the angel face always means we're getting some.