Imagine this: there is this place called 2D and in 2D, everything is, obviously, two-dimensional. Everything is flat for as far as you can see and the inhabitants of 2D are nothing more than straight lines that can travel only up, down, left, and right. This world exists on a piece of paper.
Now imagine this: there is this place called 3D and in 3D, everything is, obviously, three-dimensional. Everything, as far as you can see, has height, width and depth. The people of 3D are complex beings by comparison to the people of 2D.
It isn't hard to imagine these two worlds I've mentioned. The land of 3D is what we all call our "reality," as we all live in a three-dimensional world. The world of 2D can easily be demonstrated by taking a piece of paper and drawing a straight line, or anything for that matter. Everything that exists on a piece of paper is two dimensional, no matter what shading or "depth" you give it—it's all just a bunch of lines.
The people of 2D could never imagine a world like ours because it is beyond their physical capability to exist outside a two-dimensional reality. However, the people of 3D can easily look down at the world of 2D and perceive it with no problems.
One way to understand a little better the difference between these two places is by thinking of a square. A "cube" in the land of 2D would appear to the people of 2D as nothing more than four straight lines in the shape of a square, and to enter the "cube" they would have to physically break through one of those "walls." For the people of 3D however, the "cube" would be a two-dimensional square and to enter the square would not require breaking the walls. A 3D person could just put their finger in the middle of the box that existed on the piece of paper and they would be inside it.
Now let's extend the argument a little further and get to the real point of this obtuse article. There exists, according to most scientists, a fourth dimension which is usually characterized as Time. Whatever that means, no one is sure. However, scientists theorize that with technology that doesn't exist and isn't capable of being invented, we could, theoretically, see the Fourth Dimension. But we couldn't really because it's the same as a person in 2D looking into our 3D world—they are only capable of visualizing things as they exist in the realm of two dimensions and things that exist in 3D are "invisible" to them. We could never physically see things that exist in the Fourth Dimension and therefore we could never see the Fourth Dimension as a place. Well, most people can't.
I can see into the Fourth Dimension and it's a beautiful thing. I want to tell you about it, how to get there, and why you want to go. Before I do, I want to give you some examples of the benefits of transcending our own space-time reality.
Socks
You know how when you do laundry you almost always lose at least one sock in a pair, leaving you with half a pair and no real use for the remaining sock? Eventually, if you do laundry long enough, your sock collection has been completely annihilated. Guess where they go? Yep, they go to 4D. In the land of 4D, socks are a hot commodity—they are like fine wine. Sock Pirates are constantly entering 3D and stealing your sock collection one sock at a time in an effort to promote the price war which makes socks cheap in 4D. This is good news for 3D people entering 4D because not only do you get your socks back, you get them back relatively cheap (yeah I know, they aren't free but beggars can't be choosers).
Pens and Pencils
The same applies for lost pens and pencils. Actually, it only applies as far as 4D is where they disappear to, but the reason is totally different. Pens and Pencils are a great source of nutrition for the people of 4D. It's great for 4D people on diets—low on carbs, high on protein. They never finish the pens and pencils however, because in the land of 4D pens and pencils go bad easily—so they return them to 3D, but never to their proper owner. This is why you will usually retrieve a lost pen from a friend or the weird smelly kid who never remembers a pen/pencil and it will be all chewed and disgusting. It's too bad for that person because they are usually looked upon with disdain; plus, they smell.
Close-Talkers
Now we're starting to get into the social situations that are escapable through 4D. Everyone knows that guy or girl that talks way too close to your face. They spit on you, they have bad breath and breathe all over you face, they usually have longer than usual nose hair, they probably should have shaved (this applies to girls, too), and they almost never speak with an indoor voice. They never shut up and usually only talk about themselves or their significant other. Well, knowing how to enter 4D you can easily escape this person and leave them for you helpless friend.
Cops
There does not seem to be a more practical use for 4D than as an escape from Public Safety and the Scranton Police. As all of you may have noticed, both Public Safety and the Scranton Police love to waste their time by picking on Scranton Students. Usually they are subversive and go well above the law, using vigilante-style tactics to curb the underage drinking problem here at the school. Wait and see the confusion jumping into the 4D will cause when they are taking down your fake information and threatening everything up to the death penalty!
Ugly Girls/Guys
Yes, it's true—there are a lot of ugly people out there that refuse to accept their ugliness. They don't realize you don't want to talk to them and even when you subversively insult them to get rid of them, they ignore, or are otherwise incapable of understanding the insult and go right on rubbing their ugliness up against you. When these beastly, smelly, and socially retarded people confront you, jumping into the 4D is great. Not only do you avoid contact with them, but also you can view their ugliness on a completely new level from the Fourth Dimension and appreciate the opportunity you've had to escape from them even more.
Now that we have gone over the benefits, it's time to tell you how to use and enter the 4D. It's quite simple really, all you have to do is—actually, screw all you guys... I'm saving the knowledge of 4D for myself so you can't come. You'll tell the ugly people.