Recently my 9-year-old cousin became upset with his twin sister and spat out, in the most vicious way a 9-year-old is capable of, the most sinister insult he could think of: "F-you!" However, he didn't use the real "F" word, just the letter "F," combined with "you." To him, and the ruffian dirtballs he hangs out with and learns these things from, that's just about as "bad" of an insult as he can think of, even if he doesn't actually know what he is saying. This is a classic example of the development of bad language and the insult. My cousin is moving out of what I would classify as the "development innocence" of that art of insult into a more advanced, and unfortunately, less original (and certainly less funny as you'll see later in this article) stage of colorful language.
The art-of-insult is one of the defining cornerstones of human interaction. Social mockery among friends is the key to any well-balanced relationship. Without it, quite simply, a relationship exists as a superficial artifice made-up of meaningless chatter and mindless small talk (conversations would never make it past "Hey, what's up?"). In other words, without the ability to insult one's own friends, relationships are nothing more than acquaintances, and acquaintances are boring.
The actual art itself is something that evolves as a person matures, and like all things, it is at its most pure when a certain level of innocence still exists. For this reason, the greatest period in anyone's insult development is when the word "poop" is both the funniest and most insulting word you can use against a person. This is because at its most basic level, the act of using the word "poop" as an insult is incredibly juvenile, and as people mature and become more aware of how serious they need to be at all times in a world that is so uptight, they appreciate the opportunity to act juvenile.
As "poop" transcends its physical and literal definition and becomes something usable in day-to-day conversation as a part of speech, it transforms into the single most versatile insult-word in a very large catalog of insult words. "Poop's" genius is the various ways in which it can be used and the other words it can be combined with to add extra insult, or funniness (and if you're lucky, both). As an adjective, it is deadly. As a verb, it is lethal. It is in these two modes of usage that the word is both distinguished and made immortal as an insult word.
As an adjective, the function of the word "poop" is best realized with the choice of a proper word that it can modify. Usually, if combined with another body part, both funniness and insult can be achieved. Some of the classic examples of this are combinations like poop-face, poop-mouth, poop-hair, and poop-head. Combining the word "poop" with body parts (usually in the area of the head) belongs to the insult developmental category associated with the very early developmental stages. As you become more proficient with combining the word "poop" with other words, you learn that it is most effective when used with nouns that are more complex. Good examples of this are combinations like poop-eater, poop-licker, and poop-sniffer.
Examples of good combinations are almost infinite because really, you can combine the word "poop" with any word and it would hold up as a legitimate insult. To make your insults when using the word "poop" more stinging and lethal, however, you need to learn how to use the word as a verb and/or adverb.
When used as a verb, the word "poop" becomes more than just a description; it becomes an action done unto someone that, depending on the effectiveness by which you use it as a verb, is both hilarious and vile at the same time. For instance, the simplest way to use "poop" as a verb is to say you will "poop on someone," if they don't give into whatever request you've made of them. To be honest, at this point in the article, I'm sort of baffling myself with my own immaturity. As a result, I am bestupifying (my word) myself and can't really think of other ways to use poop as a verb. I believe, however, that you get the point, so I'll just simply reiterate the fact that when one perfects the art of using the word "poop" as a verbal insult, one has necessarily reached the pinnacle of one's insult capabilities.
All in all, this was a dumb article, and I'm really immature for writing it. But if you didn't think it was at least somewhat entertaining—dare I say even funny—then you're nothing more than a stupid, stinking poop-head!